KATHRYN: Mrs. Fiat, can we go outside now?
MRS. FIAT: Oh, no. It’s raining much too hard. Lunchtime recess is being held indoors today.
EMMA: But it’s only drizzling!
MRS. FIAT: But you can certainly amuse yourselves with this collection of broken lunch trays and this 1986 automobile repair manual.
ALEXANDER: Broken lunch trays? Don’t you have any crayons?
MRS. FIAT: Oh no, dear. You might choke! No crayons allowed. Now go play!
MADELINE: But there’s nothing in the room to play with!
MRS. FIAT: As your teacher aide and I am responsible for your safety!
KATHRYN: But can’t we have a ball or something to play with?
MRS. FIAT: Oh no. You might trip on it and fall.
ZACH: Do you have any books we can read?
MRS. FIAT: And get a paper cut? I don’t think so.
LAUREN: How about some Legos?
MRS. FIAT: With all the Bisphenol A in those, I can’t believe you’re even asking.
ESTHER: Bisphewhat? This stinks!
ALL KIDS:

WHAT AN AWFUL DINGY ROOM.
IT’S LIKE SITTING IN A TOMB
IF THE WEATHER WEREN’T GLOOM
WE COULD ALL BE ON THE PLAYGROUND
WE COULD ALL GO OUT AND PLAY

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY
NO ONE WATCHES PAINT TO DRY?
WE CAN KISS OUR FUN GOODBYE
AND JUST GO BACK TO THE CLASSROOM
WE WOULD RATHER BE IN CLASS.

THERE’S NO ROOM TO RUN AROUND
AND THIS CARPET SMELLS LIKE
MOLDY MUSHROOMS
WE DON’T CARE
OF RAIN OUT THERE.
OR PUDDLES ON THE GROUND.

THERE’S THE TICKING OF THE CLOCK
TAKING STULTIFYING STOCK
WITH ITS TICKING, TICKING, TOCK.
WILL IT EVER STOP MONSOONING
ON THIS BORING AFTERNOON?

They dance in a bored fashion.
CLAIRE: I think I know everything I need to know about carburetors for a while.
PATRICK: What’s the weather doing?
GEORGE: Still raining. But I found this ball of dust in the corner!
CLAIRE & PATRICK: Ew.
ALL KIDS:

THERE'S NO SPOTS TO BE EXPLORED
AND NO KICKBALL TO BE SCORED
WE ARE SO EXTREMELY BORED
AND WE CAN'T PLAY INDOOR SOCCER
AND WE'RE HERE ‘TIL ONE O'CLOCK.

IF WE FAKE A FEVERED CHILL,
THERE’S A MOMENTARY THRILL.
BUT WE’D STILL HAVE TIME TO FILL
AT THE NURSE’S STUPID OFFICE
AS WE TRY TO CLAIM A COUGH.

WE COULD PLAY SOME CRAZY EIGHTS
BUT THEY’VE BANNED OUR PLAYING
GAMES LIKE POKER
EVEN UNO,
WOULDN’T YOU KNOW,
TAKEN AT THE GATES.

THERE’S JUST NOTHING LEFT TO DO
THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING WE KNEW
ALL THIS RAIN JUST MAKES ME BLUE
WILL IT EVER STOP MONSOONING
ON THIS BORING AFTER,
BORING AFTER,
BORING AFTER,
BORING AFTER,
BORING AFTER,
BORING AFTERNOON?

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